Christmas

So, this morning I had an idea and I googled "college ministries in Tampa, Fl" and the results were staggering...

As I looked through the top results, I can honestly say that there really isn't much out there for people in there 20's. What a shame.

But, onto other things... this holiday season I have been doing a lot of thinking, and replaying every Christmas Eve service I have ever been to. And for those of you who know me, once Black Friday hits all that plays on my radio is Christmas music - so I have heard a lot of the typical Christmas carols... why have we as Christians watered down what this season represents?

We sing songs like "Silent Night", "Little Drummer Boy", "We Three Kings", and others that sure sound great and make me feel warm and fuzzy - but have you stopped to think about what this season represents????

God, not someone like god, or someone aspiring to be god, GOD HIMSELF put on flesh to live as we live to save us from ourselves. We had done everything we could to be His Enemy and despite our best efforts to push God away, He would not forsake us. He gave up being worshipped and rather than just being omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, he added to his attributes... humanity (thank you Mr. Driscoll). As I have been replaying the Christmas story in my head, I had a bit of an epiphany - it was not a silent night when Jesus was born!

I was praying through the Christmas story the other day - and I had a picture come to my head of a baby that had literally not even been born yet, but the story of his life was written, REJECTION. Jesus is still in his mom's womb and is being rejected everywhere he goes. I saw an angry stepdad, whose just trying to care for his preggers wife, and go pay an unfair, unjust tax. I think the night Jesus was born, just about everything that could go wrong for that young couple - did!

As I thought about the angels that praised God, I wonder did they come to earth to make sure that their King was okay... think about it - God, whom you worship, love, respect, adore and live for - leaves the presence of the angels to save humanity... his strategy starts in a poor town, in a trough. I wonder if the angels came to make sure everything was okay, and when they saw that it was - they praised God, because that's what angels do. I wonder if for a time, there was silence in heaven, as the angels stood - battle ready, and prepared to fight for their King if something should go wrong. I think that the tension the night Jesus was born, was rather high in heaven... as they wanted to praise and protect their Lord, as he began his life of humility and sacrifice.

So, as I processed all of this - something occurred to me... every Christmas eve service I have ever been to, has been rather watered down, and every play I have seen has been about a cute fat little baby, in a cradle -while the parents look on with joy... when in reality, I think that a true Christmas eve service, should be brutally honest - that this story begins and ends with a rejected Savior, who humbly came to serve and sacrifice His own life. You should not have a Christmas eve service and should not go throughout this holiday season without thinking about that which Jesus left behind to come and be rejected - for you! This season, let the gospel of Jesus Christ ring true in your home, in your life, at your work, as you fight the crowds. It is not about presents, it is not about a tree, or crappy songs on the radio... even if I don't get my Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas - the TRUE meaning of Christmas is that Jesus' life and longsuffering road of rejection begins, so that I can be accepted before the Father! Let that be our spirit this holiday season!

Ruth...

So - this morning as I have been reading through the Bible - I got to Ruth. I have read Ruth before, and I always read it and admire the nobility and provision that comes from Boaz. He is a man who takes a woman, and bestows on her the rights and riches and honor that she is not worthy of. However, today as I read it, something new hit me.

The struggle that is Ruth's life was made apparent to me this morning. As I read her story, and put myself in her shoes - I was blown away by her heart. She loses her husband and hope of a future. Her family is torn apart, a family that by her actions we know she loves deeply. Her mother-in-law tells her to go home, and she is so in love with Naomi and her family that she refuses to take the easy and socially acceptable path, but to stay near to her mother... she goes to work and risks her life to bring food home and provide for herself and Naomi. She is obedient when Naomi tells her to go in to Boaz on the threshing floor. She is humble and grateful when Boaz blesses her with food.

Ruth, choose the tough road - not because she had to, but because I believe she felt the love of God. Naomi is willing to leave the false gods of the Moabite people, in pursuit of the true God of Israel. She gets a taste of that in Naomi and her family, and than I am sure immerses herself in that when she meets Boaz - a man who is noble, trustworthy, full of integrity and honest in all his actions. He cherishes her, cares for her, loves her, provides for her and lavishes love on her - and she does nothing to deserve it, and he is under no obligation to provide it. Boaz loves her, because he does.

And Ruth, her obedience and faithfulness - how's it rewarded? She gives birth to the grandfather of David! The Moabite woman, who was faced with a decision - follow after Naomi and God, or return to the familiar and false gods - she choose to pursue God and abandon everything else. And from her lineage comes the greatest king of Israel in the Old Testament, a man after God's own heart - not to mention she ends up in the lineage of Jesus!

Obedience sometimes requires sacrifice. Sometimes, as a follower of Jesus - we are faced with decisions, and they aren't always easy, but just like Ruth - with reckless abandon and when the choices may not make sense, or even seem to be in our best interest - to choose God's path is always the wise decision. We can do nothing to earn or deserve the love that God pours out on us, and the blessing we receive are nothing more than grace from a loving Father. But, much like Ruth, we can make choices and decisions to place ourselves in the path of those blessings.

What is your choice?

Jesus Armor!

This morning has pretty much been awesome!  

I sat down to spend some time reading and praying this morning, and I don't know about you, but sometimes I get in a bit of a funk and end up reading and praying simply out of habit, and other times I am so hungry for the Word that I devour it like it was a piece of steak.  This morning, was shaping up to be one of those times where I was going to be going thru the motions, simply keeping the discipline - and hoping that Jesus would show up... and He did!

I was sitting in my prayer room, and reading Proverbs 10, which is littered with promises and praises for "the righteous".  14 times in this chapter there are exaltations, or encouragement for those whom God would call "righteous".  So, this made me think; who is righteous? What does it mean to be righteous? How can I be righteous?  What else does the Bible say about righteousness?

It turns out - the Bible says a lot, and I by NO MEANS have done a comprehensive study - but God rocked my face off with something, that I have to share!  As I was jumping around reading and researching different place where the word "righteous" is used - I ended up in Isaiah 59.  Many scholars would call Isaiah the 5th gospel, because it is rich with prophecy of Jesus, and so shockingly specific about the person of Jesus, that it is hard to believe it was written hundreds of years before he walked on the earth (it's almost like God had a hand in it or something).

Anyway, I was reading throughout Isaiah 59 and I came to verse 17 - where God has looked down on humanity, seen that no one is righteous, there is no justice - and starting in vs. 16 "He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede; then his own arm brought him salvation, and his righteousness upheld him.   He put on righteousness as a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on his head, he put on garments of vengeance for clothing, and wrapped himself in seal as a cloak."

If you read that too fast, slow down and read it again!  This is talking about Jesus taking it upon himself to satisfy justice and salvation for humanity because we could not do it ourselves.  AND WHAT DID HE HAVE TO DO?  Put on the breastplate of righteousness and the helmet of salvation!!!!!!!  Does this sound familiar?  Ephesians 6 we are commanded (not suggested) to put on the ARMOR OF GOD.  I have read, prayed and studied that passage a number of times, and NEVER did I see that this was God's Armor, that HE had USED IN BATTLE!  

Jesus, in order to live this life as fully man, and to fulfill God's law and be our perfect sacrifice - used armor.  He then, prompts Paul through the Holy Spirit to command us to use the very armor that He used while here on earth, living as fully man!  Are you freaking kidding me!  If this isn't getting your spirit in a frenzy, you may want to check your pulse... because the Creator of the universe has handed us His Armor to do battle with.  The very armor that He used, He freely gives to us and says "Here, this worked for me, now you go - use it to defend yourself and get through this battle"

And what do I do?  I tell God that I am good.  I don't need it, or even worse - I ignore the battle completely and just walk around not fighting, ignoring the war that wages around me constantly - which in effect gives the enemy a battle-win every time.  

So, this morning, I have decided to take up the armor that Jesus used to get through life - and this armor is beat up from all the blows the devil through at Jesus.  It is dented, scratched, worn in.  There are stains from the demons that threw themselves at Jesus trying to penetrate the perfect Lamb.  There is blood-sweat inside the helmet from Jesus' stress and inner turmoil as he knelt submissively before the Father, urging Him for another way to win the war.  But - the armor is strong!  The armor has been tested by the Christ Himself, it will hold, it will protect, and so - this morning I get dressed for battle, in the very battle dress that Jesus used.  And I am ready, maybe for the first time in my life - to go to battle with the authority of Christ!

Are you?

STOP!

So - it has been really nice to finally feel like I am back on Florida time, and back into the swing of things.  One thing that hit me last night, after dinner at 9:00 at Salute's (the greatest sports grille in Riverview!) - was that I need to get back on the horse of eating healthy and working out.  I got back from Asia, and was in love with everything about America, the food and freedom and everything... so I ate whatever I wanted.  I also was dealing with jetlag - so running or working out wasn't happening.  When you have a metabolism that is stuck in reverse, this is a terrible combination - so I forced myself out of bed this morning at 5:30 - and went for a run.  It felt great, and I really enjoyed watching the sunrise as I gasped for air and struggled to keep pace.

As I was walking my dog after my run, I was thanking God for the intricacy of our planet, and how we depend on Him for so much - without even knowing it.  I was thanking Him for a beautiful sunrise - that most people miss out on, because it takes place so early in the morning - and the only reason it is beautiful - to bring Him glory.  We never doubt that the sun will rise, or that there will be air to breathe, or that the earth will spin on its axis perfectly to keep us held to earth and aligned with the sun.  This world is so perfectly designed and dare I say Intelligently put together that this morning - as I walked and prayed - I got frustrated with the ignorance of humanity!  How on earth could we argue that this was not put together by a Creator.  I guess I could understand saying it wasn't Jehovah God, YHWH.  I mean, your still missing it, and one day - you will realize and bow before Jesus!  But, to say that the COSMOS sneezed and here we are - what a dumb argument.  I felt myself get agitated with everyone and no one all at the same time.  Does this ever happen to anyone else?  Very frustrating...

So, I was praying and getting worked up - when I felt that whisper in my spirit (wonder who that was?) telling me that the Truth is hidden from some, and that your eyes and ears have to opened to hear and see the Truth.  In an instant God smacked me off of my righteous high horse!  He showed me that THE ONLY REASON that I am able to appreciate it - is because of Him.  Because He has decided to open my eyes, and unclog my ears (that's kinda gross).  Immediately, I began to praise God and worship Him for who He is... my savior.  It was really awesome, to have all of this happen in a matter of minutes.  

One last thing - and then I am off to pour into my son (another recent conviction) - God is telling me that I need to pursue and "get" wisdom and insight.  Which I am totally down with, so my pursuit right now, is to dive into God - and to become wise.  It feels like a lofty goal - and an arrogant one, but I really feel like God wants me to know (head and heart and experience) more than I do.  I have no clue yet as to what that looks like, but I know that I am going to pursue wisdom and insight, whatever that looks like.

Okay, I lied, one more thing - I was in the shower a week or so ago, and I have been praying for God to reveal more about my new name - and he spoke to me, and actually gave me a name!  It was interesting, and I am reluctant to share too much - but I believe the entire meaning behind changing my name, is coming to fulfillment here soon.  I still don't think I will be changing my name legally or anything, but I know what I am to do now, which is cool!  For now, the name is suppose to stay private between me and God, but I am excited to be hearing more on that promise and wanted to share.

WOW!

As I stated in my last blog update - I am going to be processing for quite some time, so I am not sure where and when all of what God has taught me as a result of my trip to Asia will come out - but here is a little more of what God is telling me, at least for today.

Something that I have begun doing since returning from Asia is prayer walking.  I realized on my trip that my heart and calling is for here, right here in the place that God has me - Apollo Beach/Riverview, FL!  And if I am going to truly LOVE my neighbor - shouldn't that be where I begin.  I have been in my neighborhood for almost 4 years now, and I know virtually no one.  We don't really have next door neighbors (vacant house to my right and language barrier to my left).  So, I am starting to look for opportunities to build relationship, but first - I am praying.  I go for a run at least 3x's a week, and I walk our dog every day - so I have turned my jog and dog walking time, into a time of prayer and praise.  I thank God for my neighbors, I pray for different things as I pass by the homes, I ask God that He would start a revival in our neighborhood - that this street would glorify Him, that we would be protected - all sorts of things.  Really whatever I feel led to pray...

So, as I was praying this morning, something that hit me - was how beautiful and awesome my neighborhood is!  I'm serious, my neighborhood is gorgeous.  I know in America, and even in Riverview - it's not much to look at, but man... I LOVE IT!  The homes may be small, and the grass is all dying and there are cars parked along the sides of the road - but we are all so blessed!  We have beautiful little ponds  - just to look at.  We don't need to use them to wash our clothes, bathe in, or drink from.  We have yards to play in, not sleep in or let cows eat from.  We have sidewalks to travel on, not muddy roads to walk on.  I doubt I passed a house without heating or air conditioning, to allow up to keep our temperature comfortable regardless of the weather.  I am sure every home I walked passed had some sort of refrigeration device to ALLOW US TO KEEP FOOD until we desire to eat it!!!!  What a huge blessing!  I am willing to bet that each home has multiple rooms, multiple beds, multiple showers and bathrooms, multiple devices to keep us entertained.  HOW RIDICULOUSLY BLESSED ARE WE!  

Then it occurred to me, when was the last time I was thankful for any of that?  My answer... never.  I had never been thankful for that.  I began to confess as I walked - for myself and my neighbors.  We take so much for granted, we feel entitled to so much.  I get frustrated if my house doesn't stay at 76, because then it is uncomfortable.  There are people sleeping in dirt and drinking from a river nicknamed the DEATH RIVER - and I complain about having to drink Aquafina instead of Zephyrhills???  

Then, another thing hit me - as I was walking along my wonderful sidewalk, across my beautiful ponds, with fountains going and the sun just coming up and the clouds glowing - God blessed me with a wonderful sunrise!  It was gorgeous.  And in that moment, I was so grateful - because I was experiencing the beauty of the Lord - and this is something that my brothers and sisters in Myanmar and Cambodia and all across the world can experience.  They may never know a home with A/C, or a refrigerator to save food (a foreign idea in some cultures, you have food... you eat it!).  But, they know the beauty of a sunrise!  They can experience God's magnificence in that way.  

So, this morning I made God a promise.  I don't usually like to make promises, but I did this morning.  I promised that as long as I am drawing breath, the rocks will not have to cry out to God!  I am going to praise Him, for He is worthy to be praised.  I am going to thank Him, because I have an abundance of reasons to be thankful.  And for the rest of my life, whenever I have to think about what to be thankful for... I now know - that in the grand scheme of things... I am rich!

Thank you Jesus, for the greatest gift, the greatest blessing and for opening my eyes to the wonder of your love and Creation.  You did a great job!

First Blog since Asia

My plan was to blog throughout my time in Asia... but God had a different plan.  I was unable to access my blog almost the entire time I was overseas and the few times I could - I was also able to speak with my wife and son, and I chose to do this instead.  So - for the first time, in what feels like months - I return to the world of blogging!

As I sit here and try to think about what to write about my experience, I find the same problem I had as I tried to journal my thoughts each day... words don't do this justice.  Really truly, anything I can think of to say about our experience over there - downplays the reality.  

There is so much I have learned and so much that I have experienced that to record them all would take a long time, and no one would want to read that all - so I will share in bits and pieces as God impresses on me different moments and different experiences from Asia.  

Right now, the thing that is sticking with me - is the Freedom we enjoy here in the USA that is completely foreign in Asia.  Each country we visited had to some degree - a level of persecution or restriction placed upon the Church.  It was heartbreaking to see what some of the Xians have to endure for the Gospel.  But, it was encouraging to see them enduring it and considering it a joy to face trials!

It really struck me in China - that we American Xians have NO IDEA what persecution is.  I have read the New Testament, and I see what the first Christians went through, and I know a little of Church History and what occurred - but it was always a history lesson, never something that I thought still happened today!  Wow, was I naive.  In Beijing - everything is under gov't control!  The cabs are all run by the gov't and there are literally microphones in every cab - video surveillance everywhere you look and NO RIGHT TO PRIVACY!  I asked one of the girls who helped a pastor we were getting to know, if they had a right to privacy, and she looked at me like a confused puppy.  She didn't understand the question!  What a different world we live in here in America.

It's funny - those who know me, would say that I am about as patriotic as an agnostic is religious.  Just don't care.

Well, that has definitely changed as a result of being in Asia.  You don't truly appreciate freedom and rights, until you experience them being taken away!  In China, you aren't allowed to get on Facebook, to get on Twitter, to access blogs.  You can send out emails, but the gov't reads them first.  Your emails come into your Inbox already having been read.  When you are out in public - it is wise to sensor your speech, we didn't use words like "missionary", "Bible", "preaching", "pastor", etc... because the gov't is listening to every word you say!

I knew that I was going to come back changed and that God was going to do a work in my heart - and I had prepared for God to tell me that I was suppose to move to China or something.  Never in my dreams did I imagine I would come back with a love for America and a heart to see our freedoms protected and ensured!  

We need to care about what is happening in our country, we need to care about the laws that are being passed.  And with each new law and each new regulation - we are surrendering our rights and giving more control over to the gov't - who little bit by little bit - is stealing our freedom.  And, having just experienced NO FREEDOM - let me encourage all of us, to get involved and be instruments of change and to become activists for freedom!  Because Xians are the first ones to be censored and monitored.  

Is that what we want????

Asia Bound!

Well - Drew and I decided that it would be a good idea to try and get on Asia time from the get go, so we are staying up all night.  We ventured out to Denny's at 1:00 in the morning in Minneapolis... let's just say that this must be the popular thing to do by the people who make up this lovely city, because we saw some winners for the "it's you" game.  I hadn't really eaten since lunch, and it was way too late (or early) to eat, but I figured I am on a mission trip, and gonna have to eat stuff like cat and squid or something here soon, so I should enjoy American food while I can.  So, I downed a cheeseburger that had hashbrown casserole and eggs on it - sounds interesting right?  Let me just say, it changed my life (and shortened it at the same time)!

So far, it has been an interesting journey - we got off to a rocky start.  The flight here was delayed about 3 hours due to weather and construction at the airport here in Minneapolis.  But, I ran into some people I knew at the airport and we aren't flying to Detroit until 6 am this morning, so we weren't really in a hurry.  I spent some time reading my Bible and a book that I brought with for entertainment.  I was reading in Psalm 26 and David praises God for allowing him to stand on level ground and bless Him in the great assembly.  That struck a chord with my heart, as I go to ground that has literally been shaking over the last couple of days, and I prepare to enter into a place that has different religions, morals, culture practices, social graces and - well, just about everything - I felt like God was telling me he was going to give me solid ground to stand on.  That I would continue to walk in His faithfulness, as I have been for 6 weeks now in regards to this trip.  Needless to say, it was an awesome time of being in the presence of God and hearing Him speak right in the terminal at TIA.

I am excited for this journey, I am tired already - but that is kinda on purpose right now.  Continue to pray for our journey, safe travel, my family (I am missing them already), and that we would experience a change of heart on this trip.

1 Timothy 1:5

Running

As I am sitting here, I am jamming out to the worship set that we are gonna be doing this Sunday - and I am excited about worshipping with my family at South Bay this weekend.  All I can say is I expect the praise team to bring the pain (or the nuts, as some of them would say :)

This morning, I was suppose to go to the gym in my neighborhood and work out (lifting weights sucks) but luckily I couldn't find the card to let me into the gym, so I had to go for a run instead (much more enjoyable).  As I was running, I was praying and asking God to speak to me, and one of the many things that I love about God is that He is so faithful at taking the natural and making them supernatural.  

I have been trying something new in my running routine.  Instead of just jogging 3 or 4 miles, I am trying to do intervals.  I run hard for a few minutes and then jog for a few minutes and then run hard, and so on and so forth.  This has challenged my legs and stamina in a great way, and has made running a challenge again, which I appreciate.  Well, this morning, I was struggling to keep the pace and my legs just wanted to jog, not run hard, so I began to pick objects out and I would run to them (a car parked at the end of the street, or a fire hydrant or something).  This helped me, it gave me somewhere to go, something to aim for, and it took my mind off the immediate.

As I was just being, and asking God to speak, all of a sudden, a little light came on, and I heard His Spirit whisper into mine, that this is true in life as well.  That I need to focus on things down the road, not the immediate.  While the pain is real, and the desire to do what is easy is sometimes overpowering, it becomes easier to overcome if we look at the things ahead.  Maybe this is what the author of Hebrews is talking about when he says that we are to run with endurance the race marked out for us, and we are to fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith.  

I was challenged this morning to stop looking at the immediate, and look to the future.  To see how the immediate is nothing more than a step in the direction of where God is at, as He pulls me into His presence, and prepares me for the future.  Sometimes is hurts, sometimes I don't want to run, sometimes I am willing to run but I want it to be at my pace and sometimes I am ready and willing to give it my all.  But, if I don't think about how I feel, and the surrounding circumstances, but I look to Jesus, and I run to Him with all that I have - each step becomes purposed in a passionate pursuit of the face of God.  

That's what I want.

That's what I need.

That's where I am going.

God speaks!?!

I am not being able to get to this as much as I would hope - but this morning, I am gonna make some time real quick, because God has been speaking loud and clear lately, and it is exciting.

Sunday night, we had a leaders meeting at South Bay, and in it we were challenged to practice listening prayer.  This is something I have done for awhile now, but the way in which is was described was a little different than I have done it, so I am trying something new.  I have added some actual time ON MY FACE into my time with God.  I am a big journaler and so normally, I allow God to speak as I just sit in my chair and wait for God to speak.  While I still journal like a madman, I am now spending time kneeling and with my face in my lap, seeking God and being still, in a new position, prostrating myself before the Lord.

In the last few days, God has spoke Loud and Clear to me.  It has been amazing.  At the training, I didn't get a chance to share, but we practiced listening prayer, and as I was waiting and being still, God showed me a picture of David and Bathsheba.  I was confused why he would show this to me, so I went to the word and began to read the story... and something hit me - This story begins with the phrase "In the spring, when Kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, his servants and all of Israel... But David stayed behind."  As I read this I was hit with the fact that David was not leading, he was not going out before his people, he was not where he was suppose to be - and he fell hard because of it!  Leaders are called to go before the people, to be out in front leading the charge and being an example for people to follow.  Jesus did this with the disciples, Paul charges his followers to imitate him as he imitates Jesus!  God asked me the question and posed me with the challenge "Where am I leading and who am I going out before?"  

The next morning, I was on my face asking God to speak to me - and he told me that I was holy!  Me!!!  My first thought, was no God, you got this wrong.  Maybe you were meaning to talk to somebody else.  But then, as I prayed, I decided that if God was going to call me holy, I wanted to know what that meant.  So I asked God to reveal it to me through His Word.  I opened to Deuteronomy (one of my favorite books of the Bible) and I was on track to read chapter 10 that day.  Here is what chapter 10:8 says "At that time the Lord set apart (made holy) the tribe of Levi to carry the ark of the covenant of the lord to stand before the Lord to minister to him, and to bless in his name, to this day."  If I had been wearing socks, God would have rocked them right off!  Here He calls me holy, and when I open the Word, he shows me what it means to be holy, or set apart - to carry His covenant (for us it is the Gospel of Jesus), to stand before Him (be in relationship with Him), to minister to Him (still processing this one), and to bless His name (at all times, with all people, in all situations)!  Praise Jesus, I was more than a little stoked!

So, yesterday, I get down and begin to praise God and call on His Name to speak and put myself (to the best of my ability) in a position to hear from Him.  And as I was there, in the quiet place - God told me he was going to call me by a new name.  I am excited to find out what this means, I have no idea - but God said it, so it is true.  I am feeling like it is going to mean  some growing, some stretching, and this morning as I was asking God to reveal what that meant, the word "worshipper" came to mind, so God is revealing more what that may mean, but I am not sure yet.

Today, was another awesome day of God speaking, but He told me that this morning's insight is not for broadcast, so I will exercise restraint and discernment and hold to what God told me to do, but it was amazing time in His presence this morning, as well.

I take all this time, and share all of this by means of challenging you - get on your face before the Lord. Quiet your mind, maybe turn on some praise music and let the Holy Spirit flow through you.  Spent some time repenting, confessing Jesus as Lord and allow Him in to your quiet time, and you will be amazed at the transformation in your heart that will occur.  We are born for relationship with Him, let us enter into it!

Yesterday was a really rough day!  I had to go to the pool twice.  I know your heart breaks for me, but as I was swimming with my son, God taught me a lesson that was pretty cool.

We were hanging out on the steps, and my son likes to have me stand in the middle of the pool and he will swim to me.  Sometimes, I back away from him, strengthening his swimming ability and his lung capacity (seriously his lung capacity is amazing!).  Anyway, we were swimming, and I had backed too far, and even though he was only four or five strokes away from me - IT FELT TOO FAR!  So, he turned around and swam back.  It was almost 3x's farther to accomplish this than take the extra 5 strokes to catch up with me.  But, he knew behind him was safe and that he could swim that far.  But, what he didn't realize is that it was way more effort, way more work, and took a lot more strain on his lungs to accomplish going backwards.

In that instance, God showed me how often I am guilty of this same exact thing.  He calls me to trust Him, have faith in Him, and rely on Him a little more.  I go a little further, but when God wants me really to lean out on the edge of it all, and keep pursuing Him, I turn around and go back to my safety net.  I rely on the known, rather than the unknown.  I trust in myself and my ability to swim back to safety; rather than pursue God and trust that He will grab me before I drown!  

So, my new prayer is that I would not settle for the comfortable, but as I press into the thick of darkness and meet with God, I would not fear or rely on my own ability.  I am praying that God would continue to call me to press out a little further, pursue a little deeper, and that I would not fear!  I am excited to see how God is going to call me to swim to Him and I pray that as He stands out there asking me to go a little further, I would swim with all my strength to get to those areas I have been to afraid to go.

Hopefully that makes sense, 

1 Timothy 1:5

From a website called "Stuff White People Like"  - not gonna lie, I love my moleskin notebook, and some of my favorite time is spent at Panera with my Bible, Moleskin and Mac!  I think this article may have been written for me :)

#122 Moleskine Notebooks

February 24, 2009 by clander

Since all white people consider themselves to be “creative,” they are constantly in need of products and accessories that will allow them to capture their thoughts.  One of the more popular  products in recent years has been the Moleskine notebook.

This particular type of notebook is very expensive and was quite popular with writers and artists in the olden days.  Needless to say, these are two properties that are highly coveted in the white community.   In fact, it’s a good rule of thumb to know that white people like anything that old writers and artists liked:  typewriters, journals, suicide, heroin, and trains are just a few examples.

Much like virtually everything else that white people like, these notebooks are considerably more expensive yet provide no additional functionality over regular notebooks that cost a dollar.  Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine, many of them will only be required to purchase one per lifetime.

But the the growing popularity of these little journals, is not without its own set of problems.  One of the strangest side effects has been the puzzling situation whereby a white person will sit in an independent coffee shop with a Moleskine notebook resting on top of a Apple laptop.  You might wonder why they need so many devices to write down thoughts?  Well, if a white person has a great idea, they write it by hand, if they have a good idea, it goes into the computer.

Not only does this help them keep their thoughts organized, but it serves as a signal to the other white people in the shop that the owner of both instruments is truly creative.  It screams: “I’m not using my computer to check email and read celebrity gossip, I’m using it to create art.  Please ask me about it.”

So when you see a white person with one of these notebooks, you should always ask them about what sort of projects they are working on their free time.  But you should never ask to actually see the notebook lest you ask the question “how are you going to make a novel out of five phone numbers and a grocery list?

In His presence

It has been an awesome last couple of days!  Tim is walking through an amazing book of the Bible, and for me - nothing gets better than when a pastor gets up and just brings the Word!  It has been great.  On top of that, our small group family on Sunday nights has begun to really dive into the heart of Jesus - we have incorporated some worship on Sunday nights, as well as segregated prayer, which I am praying will take us deeper as we are smaller and now gender separate so hopefully we will be able to be more open.  Yesterday, my son and I had a great time learning and playing and just kinda being daddy and son... which makes me think - how often do I just have good Daddy time?  I mean I read and pray a lot, and I am always thinking about God, and talking to him, but when was the last time, I was simply just hanging out with God, my Daddy?

As I thought about this, it occurred to me that He really is making me content in His presence.  I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I am not waiting for whatever is next!  I seem to find myself always in a hurry to move on to the next thing.  This may be one of the reasons I don't like Disney World - I feel like you pay a bajillion dollars to stand in line and wait!  But, God is refining my character and showing me that to simply enjoy time in Him, is what matters most.  It is not about what I can DO next, it's about being in Him.  As I am learning this, I find myself - wait for it - HAPPY!  I find that my surly, negative, bitter disposition is gone.  While this may not be super apparent from the outside, I can tell you on the inside, I jump for joy all day long.  I tend to be less than animated in my emotions, which is cool that's how God made me, but inside - man, I am so madly in love with Jesus, so consumed with Him and His presence that nothing else matters.

And what is even funnier, is I am finding that as I release my need to DO stuff, God is bringing so much in my path for me to do!!!!!  He is taking me to China, He has raised me up to lead the small groups at South Bay (way unqualified for this, but that means God is gonna have to do it),  my wife and I took a room at the property and turned it into a quiet room, that will hopefully cultivate prayer and intimacy with the Savior.  We are taking people food, we are praying for people, helping build rooms, and really truly whatever God is putting in my path that I can help out with, I try.  God has removed my desire for position, pay, or praise and with that has come so many opportunities to serve the flock!  It is amazing.

One thing I will say, is that I have begun to notice in my life and in many conversations I find myself in, is the prevalence of gossip.  So I am asking for prayer for myself and offering a warning to those who read - watch the words that come out of your mouth.  Are they words that build up and encourage?  Our words have power, our words have meaning, our words reflect the inner nature of our heart.  What do your words and speech say about you?  I am beginning to notice gossip taking place a lot, and I would just encourage you, be slow to speak, weigh your words carefully - and if it is tearing someone down - refrain from saying it!  And I am the chief of sinners in this area, and working diligently to stop.

Praise Jesus for His beautiful bride, may we serve her, love her, and work to better her everyday!  Thank You Jesus, for your church, as imperfect as she is, you love her, cherish her, adore her, and gave your life up for her! 

May we never forget that

I am gonna try and be brief this morning - 

This has been an awesome week, and I can't believe that it is time to go and worship with my family at South Bay this morning!  Katie and I spent all day yesterday painting and setting up an empty room we had up at South Bay, we wanted to create a space where prayer would be cultivated.  It was funny, as I was painting, I kept praying that God would fill this room - that the people who would spend time on their faces, would meet and know God in a deeper way.  It was exciting to think about all the people who will use this room to cry out to Jesus.  There is nothing significant about the room, or about the paint on the walls, but to know that people will be in their petitioning and praising Jesus - was exciting.

There are a lot of cool things going on right now, I would ask that you pray for our family.  I am getting ready to go to China in 1 month.  Not just China, but Myanmar, Cambodia, and Vietnam as well!  Also, my wife is helping with women's ministry stuff at South Bay, I am helping in the Small Group dept. (I guess I'm kinda running it),  my wife is starting a Bible Study here soon, and we are talking about starting another small group.  That's a lot of awesome Kingdom size things going on that Satan is gonna want to attack hard!  So please, keep us covered.  Our God is an awesome God, and He reigns from Heaven above - so the obstacles here below seem small and manageable for Him, even when they are to big for me!

Later

Catching y'all up

Well, 

Much has happened in my life since the last time I blogged.  

A few weeks ago we had a friend of mine come to share with the people at South Bay what God is doing around the world.  He is a missionary that travels all over, and while he was speaking, I felt a pinprick in my spirit that was very real, but very unfamiliar as well.

I felt like God was telling me to go on a trip!  Please don't miss the power in that statement, I am totally the guy who would have said that missions is great, but there are people who need love and Jesus here locally, why on earth would I waste money and time to go somewhere else?

Obviously, God had not yet stretched me to the point of understanding who He is and what He means when He says that we are to go to the uttermost ends of the earth!

So, I went up and talked with David, and he shared with me one of the trips coming up, was to China, Cambodia, Myanmar, and Vietnam.  It was going to be a pastor's training conference and a vision casting trip - and that I was welcome to come if I would like.

I spent a couple of days thinking about it, praying about it, and I attended one of the trips meetings, and all I can say is that God showed up in a powerful way.  He sent confirmation that this was what I was suppose to do, and that I needed to continue pursuing this trip.  

The next day, I woke up, went to the clerk of the courts office to try and get a passport, and didn't realize you are suppose to make appointments for those kinda things!!  But, the lady showed me favor, and blessed me with ignoring my lack of planning and rushed my passport paperwork, took my pictures (gave me extra pictures that I needed for FREE) and got me out of the office in less than 45 minutes! 

I sent out some support letters, and more will be going out soon - the trip is going to cost about $4000, which I don't really have right now (or ever), so I am believing and proclaiming that God is going to provide!  I am already praising Him and asking that He bless those who are faithful to respond to His prompting to give.

Katie and Micah and I then went on vacation for a week in the mountains of North Georgia (may blog on that later), but there was no internet, no cell phone service, just me and the family for 6 days!  Let me just say, that should be how it is all the time.  It was awesome.  And I will continue to ask the question "What are any of us doing living in Florida???"  It is so pretty in other parts of the country and we live in the freaking swamp?  Makes no sense to me.

But, it was a great time to get away, spend time in the Word, pray, be in His Creation, pray, praise, be alone, meditate, pray, worship, pray.  It was good.  As I was praying, God gave me some direction and ideas for some opportunities and different things He has placed before me, so I was excited about that.

We got back late Saturday night, to find my passport already delivered to the house (it only took 4 days to get here!!!) and all the paperwork I need to fill out my visa's for the countries we will be in, was ready to be filled out and mailed away.  

We woke up and went to worship on Sunday with our family at South Bay -and God rocked the house apart, it was great!  We then had small group on Sunday night and all I will say about that is, if you missed it - you missed out!

We had our first preseason softball scrimmage last night, and thanks to errors - I HIT AN INSIDE THE PARK HOMERUN!  Our team may have lost the game, but I consider it a moral victory (not sure why, but I do)

I woke up this morning, went for a run, came home, and I was checking my email really for the first time since we have been back and a friend of mine shared a really encouraging story of how something God blessed me with, blessed him!  It was awesome!

Jesus is awesome, He is powerful, He is mighty to save, He is our Savior, our Redeemer, our Sustainer, the author and perfector of our faith - and I love being his bondslave!

Shadow of Your Wings...

This morning has been awesome!  

One thing I am a big fan of doing (and I would recommend everyone trying it) is praying through Scripture.  Our early Christian  parents practiced this discipline and had a name for it - calling it "lectio divina".  There is a great article about this practice at the following link 

http://prayerfoundation.org/lectio_divina.htm 

Anyway - while I believe it is possible to pray through any section of Scripture, I have found that the richest section of Scripture to practice this discipline is through the Wisdom Literature.  So, every morning, I open up to a random Psalm or Proverb and spend time praying through that section.  This morning I opened to Ps. 17 - and as I was praying God revealed some awesome truths to me that I wanted to share.

1.  We are the apple of God's eye!  Verse 8 was powerful as I prayed and I asked God to keep me as the apple of His eye, I realized that too often, I don't live or think of myself as the apple of His Eye!  God blessed me this morning by showing me that He truly does cherish me.  He came, lived, suffered and died, simply for love.  I can do, and have done nothing to earn His love.  He offers it out of the kindness, graciousness and genuine love He has for His Creation.  I am the apple of His eye, because I am.  What a blessing it was to hear that this morning.  

2.  As I prayed the next line in this verse, God went to work in me.  I prayed that God would hide me in the shadow of His wings... and the Rhema began!!!

- In His shadow - I am hidden from the things that seek to destroy my life

- In His shadow - I am ensuring that He is bigger than myself  I cannot be in His shadow if I have exalted myself above God

- In His Shadow - I am trusting Him to look out for me, protect me and keep me safe

- In His Shadow - I am close to Him

- In His Shadow - I am not able to follow my own shadow, or go my own way

- In His Shadow - I am able to rest and find comfort

I am so quick in life to do things my way, to rely on my understanding and to follow my ow shadow, but what if - I rested in the shadow of His Wings?  What if I let God be as big as He wants to be?  So big that I am consumed and unable to discern where I would go by myself because His shadow is everywhere I turn.  That's where I want to be, that's how I want to rest and that's how I want to run this race, in the shadow of His wings!

God also blew my mind in Numbers - but that would be a whole different post and maybe that will come later, but for now, I am content to rest in the Shadow of His Wings!

Are you???

Twice in One Day

So, lately I have been trying to blog once a day - and at least 3x's a week.  I have no idea if anyone is really reading this or not, but it helps me process what God is teaching me, if I put it down on "paper".

This morning, I had to go to Seffner to see a dr. that my family has been going to, and on the way there,  I wanted to listen to some music (not normal, I had to live six months without a radio and now prefer silence in the car) - so I busted out some old school Carmen music that I hadn't listened to in years!  I found the CD buried in a stack in our prayer room.

Well, let me just say that for some reason, God consumed my car, and in the middle of a commute to see a chiropractor - the Spirit fell.  I feel a little wussy saying this, but I spent most of the way to the appointment with a lump in my throat and tears falling down my face as the Spirit of God just ministered to me.  I wasn't sure if this was an experience I was suppose to share or not, but as I have been reflecting over it, I think God's point in this morning was simply that at any moment, I need to be ready for His presence.  Moses (whose life has been super meaningful to me lately) was wandering in the wilderness taking care of sheep - and God busted in.  David likewise, taking care of his day to day tasks when God intervenes and changes his life forever.  A young woman was eagerly awaiting marriage, and essentially the beginning of her life, when God shows up, interrupts her day and changes the course of history by asking her to carry His child!

My point is this, God is big enough to intervene at any moment, at any time, and I want to be ready to receive from Him all that He is willing to pour out on me.  Even if that means that I look like a red in the face, blubbering moron when I get to the Dr.'s office!  

Super Stoked about what Jesus is doing!

Normally, I like to try and let my blogs be a reflection of what God is teaching me through His Word.

Today, is gonna be a little bit different...

As I was running this morning something occurred to me.  At night, after my son goes to bed, a lot of times my wife and I turn on TV, she plays some computer game, or talks on Facebook with friends, and I watch West Wing, Studio 60, or Sports Night until I fall asleep.  This is pretty much our routine for our nights.  I sleep on the couch, until she wakes me up to go to bed!

This morning, God laid on my heart that my wife and I need to get out of this routine.  We need to challenge each other, we need to play with each other, I desperately need to beat her at cards!  There is so much more to life and being married than simply coexisiting.  Don't hear me say that we are having troubles, or anything.  I love my wife and I am crazy about her, and it is from that desire that this idea is birthed.  I want to experience more of her.  I am not content to simply be in the room with her, I want to talk with her, know her, play and have fun with her.  I want her to challenge my thoughts, I want her to hear what God is teaching me, I want to bounce crazy ideas off of her.  I want a relationship that goes deeper!  That involves effort and time.  That involves me doing something.  Getting involved. That means that effort on my part needs to be made to ask questions, listen to her answers, or simply be willing to do things that I wouldn't necessarily want to do late at night.

I believe that my marriage (which is already awesome and one for the record books!) is about to get a whole lot more awesomer (just made that word up).  I am excited for what God is going to do in my marriage.  God took me to Song of Solomon this morning, and it was cool to see a picture of a man and woman madly in love and desperate for each other, physically, mentally, and spiritually!  That is my desire - that God would take my wife and I deeper, in every aspect of our relationship.  It's gonna be fun :)  

Chosen for/by Love

For the past couple of days, I have really been having a hard time.  I don't know if it is being back in the workplace, and not being able to surround myself with praise music and the Word all day?  I don't know if it is simply God stretching me and teaching me?  I don't know if I am in sin and God is working on my spirit slowly?  All I know is that I have been a little more depressed the last couple of days.

Have you ever felt like putting on a muzzle?  For the past week, it has felt like regardless of what I say or write, I get punched in the mouth!  I don't know why, and I am unsure how some of the things I am saying can get people offended or riled up, but no matter what I am talking about, it seems I end up in a conversation with people who want to take the opposite side of the topic of discussion.  For instance, right now, I believe I could go outside, look up in the sky and say - "It's blue" and someone walking by would say that it wasn't blue, it was the light reflecting off the surface of the earth and thereby reflecting the blue from the water that covers the earth, and making it seem blue when in all reality, that is an incorrect statement, for the sky has no color.

This has been my life for the past week!  It is a frustrating place to be, but God is teaching me a lot through this.  He is teaching me patience, and showing me how to love.  My prayer and desire for about a month now, has been that God would take me into His presence and speak with me face to face.  This morning, I was asking God to do that again, and He showed me that Jesus came, lived, suffered and died, while I was still His enemy.  All for love's sake.

Jesus was willing to look past every offense, every time I was going to point a finger at Him and say "You're Wrong" and try to do it my way, or approach life with my line of thinking.  He didn't hold any of it against me, but for love's sake, became poor!

Man, what a refreshing thought that was for me.  If Jesus choose to look past all of my sinful, terrible, horrible thoughts and actions.  If Jesus, who has the right to condemn and sentence and judge, laid that responsibility down - and loved unconditionally; shouldn't I be able to look past some disagreements and arguments and love?  My hope and prayer is that God will do that in me.  That I will die to my flesh that feels the need to be right and has the desire to argue and fight and prove my point, and simply love.

When I woke up this morning, I felt blah, and really wanted to stay in bed and sleep this day away, but now - I feel a new charge.  A new sense of responsibility, and a new hope.  Today, I have the opportunity to love God's people, in the way that Jesus loved them.  To lay my life down, die to my flesh, and serve with an attitude of love.  What an amazing opportunity and awesome responsibility that I have, because Jesus chose love.

Thank you Jesus, you are wonderful!  Thank you for your love, and though I don't deserve it, and never can earn it, I strive to love as you loved, and live as you lived, in hope's of pleasing You.  

1 Timothy 1:5

Princes Bride theology...

So, I went for a walk again this morning (still stupid) - but my legs are sore from standing for 8 hours yesterday at work.  I have apparently fallen out of the rhythm of working on my feet all day - it hurt!  But, I was grateful for the chance to make a little money, see some old friends, and help out my old employer when they needed me.

As I was walking and spending time with God, I was thinking about all kinds of stuff...  

1.  Why is it acceptable to point out only the faults in the Church?

2.  Why are no solutions being offered to improve the Church?

3.  Do I really understand the love Jesus has for me?

4.  Do I share that same love for Him?

5.  Why am I so consumed with what I can DO for God?

6.  Am I struggling with a spirit of religion? Pride?

7.  Why do people always talk about going back to the Church like in the New Testament?

8.  What did I do yesterday to show Jesus' love?

9.  Do I believe God is who He says He is?

10.  Why do I feel a need to be right all the time?

11.  Why do I live my life like God needs me?

12.  Do I really believe in the power of the Word?

13.  Why do I fear opposition to God and His Word?

14.  Why in the world is it so HOT, the sun isn't even up yet!

 - Okay, so the last one was less insightful, but seriously, it was insane how hot it was, and still dark outside!

  I have been trying to describe to my wife what happens in the mornings when I go out for a run, walk, or whatever, and it is hard to put into words.  It is kinda like meditating, but I am working out, running, or whatever.  I find that when I am outside, and moving, no iPod, no TV, no computer, no people outside, it feels like just me and God.  I am able to clear my mind, remove the distractions and I hear His voice.  The questions that are raised and come to my mind, feel like things that God wants me to look at, either in the Bride, or more frequently - in my life.  

  So, this morning, as all these questions were rolling around in my brain, I thought of the Princess Bride!  Easily one of the greatest movies ever, right.  Well, in it, Wesley is tortured and the Machine that robs you of life, gets jacked all the way up to 50 (honestly, who just saw the guy yell "NOT TO 50!!" in their heads???)  Wesley is then not dead, only "mostly dead".  I realized this morning that I have been spending much of my spiritual life, not dead, but mostly dead!  I do not operate as God would have me operate.  I have not fully embraced the power of the Spirit.  I have bought into the schemes of Satan that lie to me and say things like doctrine and philosophical theology are important.  What a load of garbage!  

I want to know God - I want to understand Him more, but I don't think He is honored when we argue over "open, close, or closed communion"!  Who cares, let's spend time with Jesus, let's care for the sick, let's care for the widows, let's teach and disciple believers, and let's focus on loving our neighbor.  I love to learn, but if it is just for the sake of proving my position is right, it is vanity, pride and gives no glory to Jesus.  

It is time for me to take Mad Max's miracle pill, that brought Wesley back to life and allowed him to rescue his love, and defeat Prince Humperdink (sp.???).  I need God to raise me from my state of "mostly dead"  I need the Holy Spirit to break the chains and ties in my life, I need to fight for His Love, I need to battle His Enemy, with His Sword, I need to stop being content with a state of "mostly dead" in my life.

I have no idea what this is going to look like, but I can say that I know I need to look different.  As I read Leviticus, one common theme seems to be emerging - God's people need to look, act, and BE different than the culture, because we ARE different.  If we look, act and operate the same, how will they know the transforming power of God's grace?  It is time for me to stop being like my culture, and become that shining light, and salty city on a hill that Jesus spoke of.

Being made clean...

So, this week has been Leviticus week in my trek through the Bible and I am through chapter 15.  

I have read through this book before, and actually really like to read through all the laws and ways in which God calls his people to be holy, this morning I had my eyes open to a really awesome parallel in the New Testament that I had never seen before.

In chapter 15, we get the laws concerning bodily discharge - which is as fun to blog about as it is to read, but nonetheless all of God's word is profitable...

So, as I am reading about bodily discharge and what happens to a woman who has a continual flow of blood, I was reminded of the miraculous healing of the woman who had bled for 12 years.  In Mark 5:25-34, while Jesus is on his way to heal someone else, a woman who has bled for 12 years, and been in a constant state of uncleanliness, reaches out and grabs Jesus garment.  Don't miss the significance of what is happening.  By touching him, she would be making him unclean as well.  She would be causing Jesus, the Messiah, the Savior of the world, to now be ceremonially unclean and unable to enter the temple, or the courts of God.  She is not thinking about the law any more though, she has tried everything, seen the priest, and the blood will not stop.  That which keeps her from being able to be in the temple, be in the presence of her friends, feel human contact, has not ceased for over a decade!  She is desperate to be made well.  So desperate she is willing to risk making Jesus unclean, for a chance at healing.  She believes that Jesus will not be infected, or affected with her disease, but rather that his righteousness and holiness will make her well.  Her faith is not in Jesus as a miracle worker, her faith is in Jesus as a Savior and Redeemer.  She believes that Jesus will save her from the daily Hell that she is living in, and redeem her life and make it worth something and livable again.

As you read Leviticus 15:25-30, you get the understanding that purification and atonement for sin cannot be made until the discharge has ceased.  With her healing, Jesus sets her free in many ways.  She is free from disease, but also now able to go and have her sins paid for, and be made right before God again.  Everything this woman has touched, sat on, slept on, or even worn for 12 years has become unclean.  Jesus has given her a new life, he has restored her, he has healed her, he has offered her a chance to live life not as an unclean, socially outcast, rejected and demeaned woman - but a life as a free, righteous, woman of God able to worship and testify to the healing power of Jesus!

What an awesome picture we get of the desperate need we have for Jesus.  The lengths to which a person will go to receive the saving power of Jesus, and the power that simply a touch of the Savior can bring in a person's life.  Jesus was fully aware of what was happening, he knew that woman from the beginning of her creation, he was aware of her need, her hurt, her pain, and he cared for her enough, to pass by her, and to allow his healing power to bring her freedom.

Have you allowed the healing power of Jesus to set you free?  We are all unclean and separated from God, we all have sin that keeps us from God, and we need to experience His healing and power in our life.  Have you stretched your hand out to Him, because He will set you free...

Had fun tonight

So, 

I have had an awesome day and just want to spend a couple of minutes and record all that has happened today:

1.  I spent a lot of time pouring into my son, playing with him, painting with him, coloring with him, teaching him how to cook an egg, and playing with Lego's.

2.  I got a chance to read some awesome verses that deal with the wilderness.  I am pretty much through the Pentateuch looking at all the verses that deal with or mention the word "wilderness".  

3.  I was able to write down some of the things that God has been teaching me, and revealing to me over the past few years.  I don't know what God is going to do with any of it, but it was rather therapeutic to write down all that God has taught me and all that He has been revealing to me over the past few years.

4.  I realized that in more than a few ways, I am walking a similar path to Moses.  As I have studied the story of Moses through the first 5 books of the Bible, I have seen many similarities to his walk and mine... which has been refreshing for me.

5.  My prayer today for a fleece to be wet by the Lord, was made damp - now (much like Gideon) I am asking God to soak the thing, so I can walk in the path of the Lord.

6.  My prayer - that I would press into the thick of darkness where God is, to meet with Him face to face, and that He would speak to me in plain language, is coming alive more and more each day!

Okay, that's all for now, but I want to ask you to contemplate some things...

i. Does your heart break when you think of what Jesus did for you?
ii. Does your heart yearn to share the living water that you have experienced?
iii. Are you desperate to see people come to know Jesus, experience His healing power, and grow in knowledge of His Love?
iv. When was the last time someone was able to see the working out of your salvation?

What if I Loved

So, this morning, I went for a walk instead of a run - and 2 things hit me:

1.  Walking is stupid - I mean I am grateful for the ability and all, but as for walking for exercise - it is dumb.  It takes almost 2x longer to walk a shorter distance than I run!  What a waste, but I have not been feeling all that well, and don't want to overdue it.

2.  My mind has been gravitating to Love a lot lately, and I spent some time meditating on love and how it relates to the Bride this morning and God really spoke some awesome things into my soul.

a.  Our God is madly in love with the Bride, as imperfect as she is (Read Ezekiel 16 for a glimpse).  He is desperate for her, like a groom on his wedding night, he is impassioned for her.  He knows her true colors, her imperfections, and her short comings, but that does not ever diminish His love for her.

i.  Shouldn't I feel the same compulsion for her?

b.  Have we turned her into a place where people are able to come and be given knowledge and an experience, and in so doing, taken away the need for people to wrestle with God?  Have we made the Church a place for people to consume God, rather than be consumed by God?  

i.  As I was praying and allowing this thought to consume me, God revealed to me that if we understood the Power of His Love, we would never allow people to be in need.  We would hear of a need in the local community, or the local body, and we would rise up to meet it.  We would see someone hungry on the street, or hear of a need in our community - and we would be the first to meet that need. (Think Acts 2).  

ii.  The problem in our churches today is not that no one is leading, it is not even that we need to abandon the way things have always been - it is time for those who are leading to LEAD in LOVE.  We need examples of LOVE shining bright in our community.  I love the local church, I love the universal Church - and I believe Jesus desires to use Her to infect change in the community  - but that begins with LOVE!

c.  We have grown complacent and comfortable with the love of our Savior.  Jesus' death no longer awes the Church.  We have watered down the Gospel, so much so, that it has lost some of its effectiveness.  

i.  Does your heart break when you think of what Jesus did for you?

ii.  Does your heart yearn to share the living water that you have experienced?

iii.  Are you desperate to see people come to know Jesus, experience His healing power, and grow in knowledge of His Love?

iv.  When was the last time someone was able to see the working out of your salvation?

a.  These are questions that should be asked of a believer, I think, all the time, and answered readily with passion and fervor!  

d.  In Exodus, as God is giving instruction to build the tabernacle, the ark, the altars and giving the people instructions on how to give and worship - the people's response to God's command to give is astounding!  They are so quick to be obedient that God tells Moses to have the people stop giving, because there is no more need!  All that can been given has, and more...  Fast forward to the New Testament and what does Jesus command - that we go forth, be salt and light, make His name known and that they will know Him by our love.  That we make disciples, that we love our neighbor.  

i.  Why has God not had to ask us to stop being obedient in this area yet?  

a.  Simple answer, we have not been as obedient as the Israelites (a pretty rebellious people).   We have not embraced the calling on our lives with the passion that is required.

Many people are quick to bash and complain about "the church"  - I would argue that the problem is not with the church, the problem is with the people.  My mind thinks back to the illustration where you fold your hands together and show the steeple, and inside are the people... the Church is people - and until we rise up and begin to love like Jesus did; nothing will change.  The world will continue to head in the direction of the darkness because right now it is all that is campaigning for their love.

But, what if... 

I loved?

And, what if...

it became contagious?

So, after an amazing weekend I can only say that I am tired!  For us stay at home dads (the many of us that are out there) the weekends are busy and hectic.  The week is our chance to recover!

My wife and I and some of our friends went tubing Saturday down Rainbow River.  It was amazing, spending the day lounging in the sun, and swimming in chilly water was so much fun!  Sunday was spent worshipping Jesus, trusting in His sovereignty, and tackling teenagers.  We had a pick up tackle football game at the church grounds, which resulted in sweat, blood and pain today!  I am super sore and I had one friend point out that I am now closer to 30 then 15 and need to be careful.  

Last night we had a great discussion about God and His Word as we are continuing through the Truth Project, not to mention some killer shepherd's pie and "better than sex" cake!  So good, but I don't know that the name is accurate :)

I woke up this morning, spent some time in Exodus, and God really blew me away!  As I was praying and meditating on God, he directed me to Psalm 37 and really refreshed my soul as I was praying through that Scripture.  As I was reading in Exodus a few things I would like to remember jumped out at me:  

1.  After 40 days without a leader, the people turn to themselves and the desires of their flesh and create a God to worship

a.  We have an innate desire to worship something, the question is not whether we worship or not, but what we worship!

2.  Aaron in his weakness allows himself to be led astray and gives in to the desires of the people.  

a.  A true leader/pastor is not someone who gives in, but someone who protects and trains the people.  

b.  Aaron is chosen by God, despite his weakness and faults, God has established that Aaron and his sons will b the priests and care for and carry out the work of sacrifices and intercede on behalf of the people.

c.  True to our first parents, Aaron tries to justify and dodge responsibility for his sin.

3.  Exodus 33:13 "13 Now therefore, if I have found favor in your sight, please h show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is i your people.”

a.  Moses' conversation with God is amazing - he desires that God would reveal His ways, not for any other purpose than that Moses wants to please God.  He goes on to say that if God will not go before them, do not let them depart from the wilderness and the foot of the mountain.  

b.  If God is not going to go ahead of Moses and lead them, Moses has no desire to go!  What a challenging thought.

c.  Moses is bold enough and comfortable enough to ask God for things, argue with God, remind God of His Character, and loves the people enough to tie himself to them, despite their sin and folly!

I could continue on for probably awhile, but I am going to refrain - let's just say that today, God showed up in my home, He met with me, and as I pressed into Him, He made himself known to me!  Praise Jesus - and like Moses, I wait for the Lord to go before me, until then I will not depart!

Quietly Contemplating...

For awhile now I have been meaning to try and make blogging a weekly thing - but like so many possibly feel - I wonder who would want to read this; and why on earth would they spend time reading my thoughts?  

But, alas, this morning - I was hit with the realization that sometimes God gives us stories or words of encouragement, or moments where He uses our stories and thoughts to impact other people, for the good of His Kingdom and the furtherance of His Gospel.  So, far be it from me to not share my stories. 

Lately, I have been on a spiritual mountaintop.  Now, by looking at my life, it would be very hard to see that, as the only change that has come into my life - has been hard and negative.  But, through it all, my Jesus has taught me so much.  I feel like in the last month, I have become a completely different person.  A few months back God began to speak to me, and He asked me to step out of a ministry that I was involved in - and I fought Him on this, bargained with Him, and even gave Him an ultimatum - which never works.  So, after wrestling with this idea, I reluctantly obeyed - stepped out and I am immediately receiving blessing from God, possible direction and a desire to do new and exciting things for the Kingdom of God that I have never even dreamed of before!  I am finding that I have new desires, new passions and a burning desire to be like Moses... drawn into the thick of darkness to be face to face with God!

As I was wrestling about stepping back from a ministry, God took ahold of another area of my life, and totally ripped it apart.  It was by far, one of the hardest, most painful situations I have ever had to walk through; but I know that I serve a risen Savior, a God King, who sits on His throne no matter what my life may look like!  Out of this hard situation, I have been able to stand firm in my faith, be tested on my convictions, hear from God, walk in His Ways, and overcome some serious fear of conflict!  And I can honestly say while it was terrible, gut -wrenching and ended in a loss for me and my family, we praise God that He who took us to it, got us through it!

I guess that is going to be all for now - except to say that if anyone does read this, I pray that you would know that God is bigger than our problems, and even when the world seems to fade away and run to culture and comfort - press into Him, ignore your circumstances, because it is in the thick of darkness, in the midst of confusion and wilderness - that we are able to speak with God face to face!

Drinking from a fire hydrant...

So, I just got back from Advance '09 last night.  I was priveleged to sit and soak up as much as I could from amazing men of God like - J.D. Greear, John Piper, Matt Chandler, Tyler Jones, Dr. Daniel Akin, and my favorite, Mark Driscoll.  It was a powerful weekend, and I am still processing a lot of what I heard, but so far - this is the conclusion I have came to.

My purpose and passion in life, is not my own.  I am not able to say what God is going to do and what I can and should do for God.  I am to be passionate about one thing - Jesus.  If my focus and heart is committed to Him and His Glory, God will take care of the rest.  For far too long now, I have been guilty of a religious heart and attitude.  I have been consumed with proving myself right, and looking intelligent.  No longer will that be my motive or approach to ministry.  My heart, is not my own, and my eyes are to be fixed on Jesus - the author and perfecter of my faith.  The rest is up to him.  My passions are not my own, it is not for me to say what I am going to do for God.  It is for God to assign and give me causality (thank you John Piper).

My aim in life is love - not even a love for people - but a love for Jesus.  If I can fall madly in love with Jesus and the Gospel, the rest will work itself out.

That is where I am at today, who knows what God is going to continue to reveal to me as I pray and decompress from this weekend's drink from a fire hydrant.

....

....

Thoughts....

Trying to figure some things out this morning, and as I have been praying and meditating, it has occurred to me that God really is changing my heart, character and mind.  I can feel the negativity and bitterness leave my soul, and a peace from the Lord replace it.  

Also, Tim challenged us last week to pray that this next Sunday (Pentecost Sunday) we would experience another Pentecost.  I have been earnestly praying for that this week, and I am stoked to see what Sunday brings

Being a single mom...

Micah woke up this morning and has been real fussy and just kinda annoying all day.  I don't know if that makes me a bad daddy to say that, but it is the truth.  We are both feeling the pains of no mommy, for 4 days now.  It has been a lot of fun, we had a great afternoon at the pool yesterday with the Brown family, and we are going to go play at the Library this morning.  

Today is going t be a low key day, as we are both tired and really just trying to survive until tomorrow night, when Katie gets back.  

This week has been an eye opener, I have always said that I appreciate single moms and want to help them out, but I have never done anything.  After a week of being one, I think that every church, civic center, or person who has some time, should come alongside the single mom community and help in anyway possible.  It is so hard to get stuff done, to find time to relax, think, or even do the dishes, is nearly an impossible task.  And I only have 1 child!

Single moms, you amaze me, and I respect you and want to applaud your selflessness and servitude for your children.  You are great heros!

It's been awhile

Totally haven't been blogging in a log time, I think I should start it up again.  

I will try and do a better job, and maybe the more I do it, the easier it will be for me to think outside the box and share what God is teaching me with other people.