Embracing the Spirit...

Do you ever think about yourself and wonder how you ended up like you did? I mean, seriously do some introspection and marvel at who you are? I know for me - lately, I have been really looking at my heart, and I am blown away at the dichotomy of my soul. On one hand - I am so madly in love with Jesus and so desperate to see people fall in love with Him and experience His Spirit, it physically hurts. But, on the other hand - I am completely wicked and so easily distracted and selfish that I find my heart to be offensive and contemptuous.

So, this of course, causes me to pray and read. Earlier this week, God challenged me to read through Acts (one of my fav's) looking for the missional aspect of the leaders of the early church. Basically, what that means is I am reading through the lens of church planting, wanting to know what the apostles did as the Holy Spirit birthed the Bride through them.

This, is of course, rocking my face right off! And while, I could blog about this for a long, long, long time; I will try not to.

Here is what I heard this morning:

Acts 8 - Stephen has just preached like, the mac-daddy gospel to the Sanhedrin and been stoned for it. The church now, officially, is under persecution and we have the first martyr of the Christian Church.

We pick it up in 8:4 - a verse I have skimmed over several times, punched me right in the mouth today. " Now those who were scattered went about preaching the word."

Slow down and read that again.

Let it marinate.

Understand the gravity of that statement (and the next 4 verses after). The Church is officially being persecuted. Saul, in verse 3, is "ravaging" the church from house to house! And as people are fleeing for their lives what are they doing?

Preaching the Word.

Sharing the Gospel.

Does conviction creep into your soul at all as you read this? Because it should. Here, we have an example of what it means to believe in Jesus and live for Him. They are fleeing for their lives, and they CAN'T stop PREACHING! Or, maybe I should say, THEY WON'T STOP PREACHING! Jesus is absolutely paramount in their lives, even over their own safety and well-being.

Can the same be said for me? Honestly, NO.

I want Him to be, but He's not. My flesh gets in the way and I allow a muzzle to be placed over my mouth. I shy away from opportunities, or perhaps worse, I don't find ways to preach in common everyday situations.

Which leads me, sort of, to my next thought. Is there a difference from the early church to today's? Has the Spirit of God stopped working in some ways? All my schooling and upbringing has taught me that he hasn't stopped working, but all the services I have ever been at, prayer meetings I have been a part of, and classes I have ever attended give example to the contrary.

I am wakening to something. A desire deeply seeded in my soul for the movement of the Spirit of God in my life. I am shrugging of the complacency of comfort and embracing a desire for the power of God to be made evident in my life.

In Acts 4:31, the believers come together to pray and ask God to make them bold, and something happens. The PLACE they are in, is so full of the Spirit of God, that the room SHAKES! Why does this not happen today?

Is God less capable? Is He unwilling to do this? Has His desire to make Himself known through signs and wonders ceased? Some would say yes.

I, venture, no. I choose to believe that God still does move and act in this way. Does it make me uncomfortable - who cares.

I want the power of God to be made manifest in my life, so that as many people can fall in love and experience the wondrous love of Jesus in their life.

But, to go back to my first thought, that means Jesus needs to be the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE!

More important than family. More important than careers. More important than money. More important than fame. More important than ME.

I believe this is possible.

And I am gonna try to die to self, in pursuit of the heart and power of God!

Lord, let it be so...