Marriage...

Sometimes I talk to people, and they talk about things that are revealed to them in a dream, and to be honest, I spent so many years as a negative, bitter skeptic that this is still usually my first reaction - but most of the time, I just end up jealous because I don't really ever dream. About anything. When I sleep - it is mostly dark, blank, amazing nothingness until the next morning.

But, about a week ago, I had a dream that has stuck with me and it hit me again this morning as I was talking with God.  In my dream, I was at a funeral and some new friends and old friends had gathered together to celebrate the life of someone, who it was I do not know.  But at this funeral, an old acquaintance was there, a friend from days long since past, a female.  For whatever the reason would have been, I was at the funeral alone and after it was over and we were all walking our separate ways I decided to walk this woman to her car.  We were reminiscing and enjoying talking when I decided to ask her out for coffee.  In my dream, I had a check in my spirit, because this would violate the very boundary that I established at the foundation of my relationship with Katie.  And, in my heart, I heard the lie whispered.

"It's innocent, she doesn't need to be bothered, and its simply coffee.  It means nothing"

And yet, it meant everything.

It was at that point that I woke up from my dream, disturbed at "dream Nate" and his willingness to comprise it all - for NOTHING!

I remember telling my wife about the dream, and her just kind of listening and I think thinking I was crazy to be bothered, but later that day as I was hanging out with God, and He and I were going over this dream, he whispered something in my ear:

"Aren't we in a covenant relationship that is deeper than your marriage? How many times have you traded in our relationship for NOTHING?"

What I had thought was a picture of my earthly relationship with my lovely, beautiful and amazing wife, was really a sad and staggeringly accurate depiction of my marriage to Christ.  I have been SO guilty of believing the lie that sin is harmless, or that forgiveness is already ensured, or that God won't know, and it's not a BIG deal, or my intentions are good... that I have been an adulterer.

I have cheated on Christ, many times over.  And the thing that wrecks my heart, is I know that as long as I am in this flesh, and struggle and war in this life, I will continue to commit adultery.

A passage that has stuck with me a long time now, is Ezekiel 16.  In this chapter, God is so madly, deeply in love with His Bride (us) and He pours out on her every blessing, adorns her with fine linens and gold and she USES that which He gave her, to betray him and whore herself out to others.  And God's heart is wrecked, because His Love betrays Him.  But, I love the last few verses - after God's heart has been broken, and His Bride has left him, offended and rejected him and done everything in their power to despise him - he promises Jesus and an everlasting covenant!

What an amazing display of love.  I am overwhelmed when I think of his love for me, despite my consistent attempt to drive a wedge between us.

I wonder, what would our lives look like if we honored the covenant we made to Christ on the day we first called him Lord?

What would our churches look like if we remembered to live lives of devotion to our Husband?