White knuckled ride...

It's kinda interesting, we all have our routines and practices that we go. My routine for meeting with God is as such: start out in my journal and lay it all out before God, then I spend some time being still before God, waiting to hear his voice, than I go to the Word and if I have heard anything or been pointed in a direction - I look for God to speak and confirm it in His Word. I will usually end my time by praying a little more, or journaling through something that God revealed that would be applicable to my walk.

The other day as I was in the midst of my routine, I realized that it was very comfy and the warm air was blowing and I was wrapped in a blanket and I was just being still - the perfect condition for falling asleep. I felt myself fade away, and I didn't fight it - I simply surrendered. I couldn't of been out more than a minute when I saw a rollercoaster and I realized I was on it. The coaster was out of control - but crazily in control. The speed was intense, the loops looked dangerous and scary, and the drops and climbs were crazy! My heart began to race and fear crept in - then I heard a voice reminding me that He constructed this coaster. Reminding me that He knows every loop, drop, turn and climb that I am going to face. Reminding me that not only did He construct it, but He is the safety strap keeping me from flying off the track.

Immediately the fear was replaced with excitement and anticipation. My white knuckled grip of the bar in front of me was softened and I lifted my hands to enjoy the ride. In that moment, I knew I was not watching a rollercoaster ride, I was watching my life.

Life is scary, life is seemingly out of control, and at times, we grip ahold of our lives with white knuckles to try and gain control. When in reality, we have very little control, and the Creator and Sustainer is calling us to release our grip, and have fun and enjoy the "ride" of life that He has blessed us with. We need not fear, we need not worry, He knows every turn, drop, climb and loop that we are gonna face. With that knowledge should come great excitement and anticipation.

So, the question I will pose this morning is simple: Are you white knuckling it through life? Or have you raised your hand to enjoy the ride He's got you on? Cause either way - it's gonna be pretty epic!

Desiring God...

So once again, it has been awhile since I have blogged, but life has been kinda chaotic, what with Christmas and New Year's and everything, but life seems to maybe be settling into a bit of a routine, so I figured I should get back into the habit of blogging... so here we go!

God has my family on a journey, and I have no idea where it is leading, but I am going to share a little background info to help with perspective.

- God has called us out of the church family we have been a part of for 2 years.

- We have been attending and praying through some exciting things at First Baptist Tampa

- We are attending The Crossing on Saturday nights (to kinda get our worship fix)

- God answered our prayer for financial aide, by allowing me to work part time at my old cafe (for now)

So - we have had a lot of transition and change to usher in a new year, which is exciting for us, but that has left me pondering a lot. Recently, I was talking with God and my brain was rushing through a million possibilities and basically... I was telling God what I should be doing, and how He is supposed to move and act - when God decided to put me in my place and tell me to SHUT UP and BE STILL!

So I listened.

For the past 2 weeks, I am trying very hard to do nothing more than pursue the heart of God. I realized that for most of my life, my walk with God and life in the Body of Christ has been about what I am doing. God is showing me how much I am missing out on, by allowing that to be my focus. I am desperately praying that God would immerse me in his presence and that if I never teach, lead, encourage, pray for, or DO another thing FOR God, that I would be content to sit at his feet and worship! Even as I write this, it sounds stupidly easy and like a basic fundamental principle of our faith, but it is HARD for me to do this.

So, this morning, I was in our prayer room... face down in a pillow asking for God to speak, and He told me to turn to Acts 14, and Genesis 3. As I began to read Acts 14 - I was blown away by the character of Paul and Barnabas' ability to be used of the Lord, their humility, and their boldness for Jesus Christ.

I blogged awhile back about the process God was taking me through in giving me a new name, and I have kinda let that be on the back burner for awhile, but I felt like, as I read this morning - that one of the reason I am to remain still and quiet, is because the man that God wants me to be, is not yet who I am. When I read accounts like Paul and Barnabas and there ability to remain in the "hot zone" to preach, and then to leave and see a man who has the faith to be healed and heal him, and to be stoned to death, be raised, and continue preaching... I know that I don't have that faith, YET.

So, my prayer this morning was that God would make me a man of faith. That I would learn how to love Jesus, His People, and the presence of God so much that I am willing to endure many tribulations. I want to be bold, passionate, and discerning enough to call a lame man up to walk. I want to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and see God heal and do signs and wonders through me. But, that comes in time. First, I need to want God more than anything else.

For me, that means wanting God, more than I want to do ministry. What does that mean for you?

Christmas

So, this morning I had an idea and I googled "college ministries in Tampa, Fl" and the results were staggering...

As I looked through the top results, I can honestly say that there really isn't much out there for people in there 20's. What a shame.

But, onto other things... this holiday season I have been doing a lot of thinking, and replaying every Christmas Eve service I have ever been to. And for those of you who know me, once Black Friday hits all that plays on my radio is Christmas music - so I have heard a lot of the typical Christmas carols... why have we as Christians watered down what this season represents?

We sing songs like "Silent Night", "Little Drummer Boy", "We Three Kings", and others that sure sound great and make me feel warm and fuzzy - but have you stopped to think about what this season represents????

God, not someone like god, or someone aspiring to be god, GOD HIMSELF put on flesh to live as we live to save us from ourselves. We had done everything we could to be His Enemy and despite our best efforts to push God away, He would not forsake us. He gave up being worshipped and rather than just being omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, he added to his attributes... humanity (thank you Mr. Driscoll). As I have been replaying the Christmas story in my head, I had a bit of an epiphany - it was not a silent night when Jesus was born!

I was praying through the Christmas story the other day - and I had a picture come to my head of a baby that had literally not even been born yet, but the story of his life was written, REJECTION. Jesus is still in his mom's womb and is being rejected everywhere he goes. I saw an angry stepdad, whose just trying to care for his preggers wife, and go pay an unfair, unjust tax. I think the night Jesus was born, just about everything that could go wrong for that young couple - did!

As I thought about the angels that praised God, I wonder did they come to earth to make sure that their King was okay... think about it - God, whom you worship, love, respect, adore and live for - leaves the presence of the angels to save humanity... his strategy starts in a poor town, in a trough. I wonder if the angels came to make sure everything was okay, and when they saw that it was - they praised God, because that's what angels do. I wonder if for a time, there was silence in heaven, as the angels stood - battle ready, and prepared to fight for their King if something should go wrong. I think that the tension the night Jesus was born, was rather high in heaven... as they wanted to praise and protect their Lord, as he began his life of humility and sacrifice.

So, as I processed all of this - something occurred to me... every Christmas eve service I have ever been to, has been rather watered down, and every play I have seen has been about a cute fat little baby, in a cradle -while the parents look on with joy... when in reality, I think that a true Christmas eve service, should be brutally honest - that this story begins and ends with a rejected Savior, who humbly came to serve and sacrifice His own life. You should not have a Christmas eve service and should not go throughout this holiday season without thinking about that which Jesus left behind to come and be rejected - for you! This season, let the gospel of Jesus Christ ring true in your home, in your life, at your work, as you fight the crowds. It is not about presents, it is not about a tree, or crappy songs on the radio... even if I don't get my Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas - the TRUE meaning of Christmas is that Jesus' life and longsuffering road of rejection begins, so that I can be accepted before the Father! Let that be our spirit this holiday season!

Ruth...

So - this morning as I have been reading through the Bible - I got to Ruth. I have read Ruth before, and I always read it and admire the nobility and provision that comes from Boaz. He is a man who takes a woman, and bestows on her the rights and riches and honor that she is not worthy of. However, today as I read it, something new hit me.

The struggle that is Ruth's life was made apparent to me this morning. As I read her story, and put myself in her shoes - I was blown away by her heart. She loses her husband and hope of a future. Her family is torn apart, a family that by her actions we know she loves deeply. Her mother-in-law tells her to go home, and she is so in love with Naomi and her family that she refuses to take the easy and socially acceptable path, but to stay near to her mother... she goes to work and risks her life to bring food home and provide for herself and Naomi. She is obedient when Naomi tells her to go in to Boaz on the threshing floor. She is humble and grateful when Boaz blesses her with food.

Ruth, choose the tough road - not because she had to, but because I believe she felt the love of God. Naomi is willing to leave the false gods of the Moabite people, in pursuit of the true God of Israel. She gets a taste of that in Naomi and her family, and than I am sure immerses herself in that when she meets Boaz - a man who is noble, trustworthy, full of integrity and honest in all his actions. He cherishes her, cares for her, loves her, provides for her and lavishes love on her - and she does nothing to deserve it, and he is under no obligation to provide it. Boaz loves her, because he does.

And Ruth, her obedience and faithfulness - how's it rewarded? She gives birth to the grandfather of David! The Moabite woman, who was faced with a decision - follow after Naomi and God, or return to the familiar and false gods - she choose to pursue God and abandon everything else. And from her lineage comes the greatest king of Israel in the Old Testament, a man after God's own heart - not to mention she ends up in the lineage of Jesus!

Obedience sometimes requires sacrifice. Sometimes, as a follower of Jesus - we are faced with decisions, and they aren't always easy, but just like Ruth - with reckless abandon and when the choices may not make sense, or even seem to be in our best interest - to choose God's path is always the wise decision. We can do nothing to earn or deserve the love that God pours out on us, and the blessing we receive are nothing more than grace from a loving Father. But, much like Ruth, we can make choices and decisions to place ourselves in the path of those blessings.

What is your choice?

Jesus Armor!

This morning has pretty much been awesome!  

I sat down to spend some time reading and praying this morning, and I don't know about you, but sometimes I get in a bit of a funk and end up reading and praying simply out of habit, and other times I am so hungry for the Word that I devour it like it was a piece of steak.  This morning, was shaping up to be one of those times where I was going to be going thru the motions, simply keeping the discipline - and hoping that Jesus would show up... and He did!

I was sitting in my prayer room, and reading Proverbs 10, which is littered with promises and praises for "the righteous".  14 times in this chapter there are exaltations, or encouragement for those whom God would call "righteous".  So, this made me think; who is righteous? What does it mean to be righteous? How can I be righteous?  What else does the Bible say about righteousness?

It turns out - the Bible says a lot, and I by NO MEANS have done a comprehensive study - but God rocked my face off with something, that I have to share!  As I was jumping around reading and researching different place where the word "righteous" is used - I ended up in Isaiah 59.  Many scholars would call Isaiah the 5th gospel, because it is rich with prophecy of Jesus, and so shockingly specific about the person of Jesus, that it is hard to believe it was written hundreds of years before he walked on the earth (it's almost like God had a hand in it or something).

Anyway, I was reading throughout Isaiah 59 and I came to verse 17 - where God has looked down on humanity, seen that no one is righteous, there is no justice - and starting in vs. 16 "He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede; then his own arm brought him salvation, and his righteousness upheld him.   He put on righteousness as a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on his head, he put on garments of vengeance for clothing, and wrapped himself in seal as a cloak."

If you read that too fast, slow down and read it again!  This is talking about Jesus taking it upon himself to satisfy justice and salvation for humanity because we could not do it ourselves.  AND WHAT DID HE HAVE TO DO?  Put on the breastplate of righteousness and the helmet of salvation!!!!!!!  Does this sound familiar?  Ephesians 6 we are commanded (not suggested) to put on the ARMOR OF GOD.  I have read, prayed and studied that passage a number of times, and NEVER did I see that this was God's Armor, that HE had USED IN BATTLE!  

Jesus, in order to live this life as fully man, and to fulfill God's law and be our perfect sacrifice - used armor.  He then, prompts Paul through the Holy Spirit to command us to use the very armor that He used while here on earth, living as fully man!  Are you freaking kidding me!  If this isn't getting your spirit in a frenzy, you may want to check your pulse... because the Creator of the universe has handed us His Armor to do battle with.  The very armor that He used, He freely gives to us and says "Here, this worked for me, now you go - use it to defend yourself and get through this battle"

And what do I do?  I tell God that I am good.  I don't need it, or even worse - I ignore the battle completely and just walk around not fighting, ignoring the war that wages around me constantly - which in effect gives the enemy a battle-win every time.  

So, this morning, I have decided to take up the armor that Jesus used to get through life - and this armor is beat up from all the blows the devil through at Jesus.  It is dented, scratched, worn in.  There are stains from the demons that threw themselves at Jesus trying to penetrate the perfect Lamb.  There is blood-sweat inside the helmet from Jesus' stress and inner turmoil as he knelt submissively before the Father, urging Him for another way to win the war.  But - the armor is strong!  The armor has been tested by the Christ Himself, it will hold, it will protect, and so - this morning I get dressed for battle, in the very battle dress that Jesus used.  And I am ready, maybe for the first time in my life - to go to battle with the authority of Christ!

Are you?

STOP!

So - it has been really nice to finally feel like I am back on Florida time, and back into the swing of things.  One thing that hit me last night, after dinner at 9:00 at Salute's (the greatest sports grille in Riverview!) - was that I need to get back on the horse of eating healthy and working out.  I got back from Asia, and was in love with everything about America, the food and freedom and everything... so I ate whatever I wanted.  I also was dealing with jetlag - so running or working out wasn't happening.  When you have a metabolism that is stuck in reverse, this is a terrible combination - so I forced myself out of bed this morning at 5:30 - and went for a run.  It felt great, and I really enjoyed watching the sunrise as I gasped for air and struggled to keep pace.

As I was walking my dog after my run, I was thanking God for the intricacy of our planet, and how we depend on Him for so much - without even knowing it.  I was thanking Him for a beautiful sunrise - that most people miss out on, because it takes place so early in the morning - and the only reason it is beautiful - to bring Him glory.  We never doubt that the sun will rise, or that there will be air to breathe, or that the earth will spin on its axis perfectly to keep us held to earth and aligned with the sun.  This world is so perfectly designed and dare I say Intelligently put together that this morning - as I walked and prayed - I got frustrated with the ignorance of humanity!  How on earth could we argue that this was not put together by a Creator.  I guess I could understand saying it wasn't Jehovah God, YHWH.  I mean, your still missing it, and one day - you will realize and bow before Jesus!  But, to say that the COSMOS sneezed and here we are - what a dumb argument.  I felt myself get agitated with everyone and no one all at the same time.  Does this ever happen to anyone else?  Very frustrating...

So, I was praying and getting worked up - when I felt that whisper in my spirit (wonder who that was?) telling me that the Truth is hidden from some, and that your eyes and ears have to opened to hear and see the Truth.  In an instant God smacked me off of my righteous high horse!  He showed me that THE ONLY REASON that I am able to appreciate it - is because of Him.  Because He has decided to open my eyes, and unclog my ears (that's kinda gross).  Immediately, I began to praise God and worship Him for who He is... my savior.  It was really awesome, to have all of this happen in a matter of minutes.  

One last thing - and then I am off to pour into my son (another recent conviction) - God is telling me that I need to pursue and "get" wisdom and insight.  Which I am totally down with, so my pursuit right now, is to dive into God - and to become wise.  It feels like a lofty goal - and an arrogant one, but I really feel like God wants me to know (head and heart and experience) more than I do.  I have no clue yet as to what that looks like, but I know that I am going to pursue wisdom and insight, whatever that looks like.

Okay, I lied, one more thing - I was in the shower a week or so ago, and I have been praying for God to reveal more about my new name - and he spoke to me, and actually gave me a name!  It was interesting, and I am reluctant to share too much - but I believe the entire meaning behind changing my name, is coming to fulfillment here soon.  I still don't think I will be changing my name legally or anything, but I know what I am to do now, which is cool!  For now, the name is suppose to stay private between me and God, but I am excited to be hearing more on that promise and wanted to share.

WOW!

As I stated in my last blog update - I am going to be processing for quite some time, so I am not sure where and when all of what God has taught me as a result of my trip to Asia will come out - but here is a little more of what God is telling me, at least for today.

Something that I have begun doing since returning from Asia is prayer walking.  I realized on my trip that my heart and calling is for here, right here in the place that God has me - Apollo Beach/Riverview, FL!  And if I am going to truly LOVE my neighbor - shouldn't that be where I begin.  I have been in my neighborhood for almost 4 years now, and I know virtually no one.  We don't really have next door neighbors (vacant house to my right and language barrier to my left).  So, I am starting to look for opportunities to build relationship, but first - I am praying.  I go for a run at least 3x's a week, and I walk our dog every day - so I have turned my jog and dog walking time, into a time of prayer and praise.  I thank God for my neighbors, I pray for different things as I pass by the homes, I ask God that He would start a revival in our neighborhood - that this street would glorify Him, that we would be protected - all sorts of things.  Really whatever I feel led to pray...

So, as I was praying this morning, something that hit me - was how beautiful and awesome my neighborhood is!  I'm serious, my neighborhood is gorgeous.  I know in America, and even in Riverview - it's not much to look at, but man... I LOVE IT!  The homes may be small, and the grass is all dying and there are cars parked along the sides of the road - but we are all so blessed!  We have beautiful little ponds  - just to look at.  We don't need to use them to wash our clothes, bathe in, or drink from.  We have yards to play in, not sleep in or let cows eat from.  We have sidewalks to travel on, not muddy roads to walk on.  I doubt I passed a house without heating or air conditioning, to allow up to keep our temperature comfortable regardless of the weather.  I am sure every home I walked passed had some sort of refrigeration device to ALLOW US TO KEEP FOOD until we desire to eat it!!!!  What a huge blessing!  I am willing to bet that each home has multiple rooms, multiple beds, multiple showers and bathrooms, multiple devices to keep us entertained.  HOW RIDICULOUSLY BLESSED ARE WE!  

Then it occurred to me, when was the last time I was thankful for any of that?  My answer... never.  I had never been thankful for that.  I began to confess as I walked - for myself and my neighbors.  We take so much for granted, we feel entitled to so much.  I get frustrated if my house doesn't stay at 76, because then it is uncomfortable.  There are people sleeping in dirt and drinking from a river nicknamed the DEATH RIVER - and I complain about having to drink Aquafina instead of Zephyrhills???  

Then, another thing hit me - as I was walking along my wonderful sidewalk, across my beautiful ponds, with fountains going and the sun just coming up and the clouds glowing - God blessed me with a wonderful sunrise!  It was gorgeous.  And in that moment, I was so grateful - because I was experiencing the beauty of the Lord - and this is something that my brothers and sisters in Myanmar and Cambodia and all across the world can experience.  They may never know a home with A/C, or a refrigerator to save food (a foreign idea in some cultures, you have food... you eat it!).  But, they know the beauty of a sunrise!  They can experience God's magnificence in that way.  

So, this morning I made God a promise.  I don't usually like to make promises, but I did this morning.  I promised that as long as I am drawing breath, the rocks will not have to cry out to God!  I am going to praise Him, for He is worthy to be praised.  I am going to thank Him, because I have an abundance of reasons to be thankful.  And for the rest of my life, whenever I have to think about what to be thankful for... I now know - that in the grand scheme of things... I am rich!

Thank you Jesus, for the greatest gift, the greatest blessing and for opening my eyes to the wonder of your love and Creation.  You did a great job!