and then there were 4

So...

Yesterday my wife gave birth to our 2nd child.

She was a trooper and did a phenomenal job, and our baby boy was born 10 lbs 11oz!  For those keeping track at home, that is a HUGE baby!  He measured in at 21 inches long with a 14.5" circumference for a head.

I was a little worried when I found out we were having another boy, because even though you hear moms and dads with multiple children say that you love each one fully - I thought maybe I was different.  My first born, Micah, is amazing.  He was such a great little baby and has turned into such an amazing young man (already calling him a man at 5 years old, because he is gonna be a man - not a boy who shaves!!).  But, it concerned me that because he was so good - our 2nd boy would be continually measured against the awesomeness (thank you Kung Fu Panda) of our 1st.

Well, I can honestly say that there is nothing special about me.  He came out - and while he was still all blue and lizard-looking, I would have laid my life down for him.  He was mine and nothing was going to change the way I felt about him.  I loved him fully and completely - just because he was my son.  Not because he was HUGE. Not because he turns his head, opens his eyes, eats like a champ, or could very easily beat up all the other babies on this floor - I love him because he is mine!

As I sit this morning, a little sleep deprived, a little hungry, but enamored with my family and our newest addition - I can't help but reflect on how God feels about me.  He must, if I am an imperfect father (which I am), feel all that I feel towards his children and MORE!  He must look down on me and just marvel at how dear to his heart I am.  Not because I preach well, or study a lot. Not because I work hard to avoid sin, or search for ways to let people know I love him. Not because I am faithful to my wife or because I try to train my children (wow, I have CHILDREN!) in the ways they should go.

But, because I am his!

What a liberating thought. This concept, this understanding, that God doesn't need me, or value me based on my abilities or performances; changes what I believe about my relationship with God and how I live my life.

I know this is not revelatory or anything brand new and it was something I would have said yesterday just like I am saying it today - but I feel like God has drawn me in closer and revealed yet again, that his love for me is not based on works, merit, or even impacted by how good those around me.  He doesn't look at the men I work with, the guys on TV, the other seminary students and husbands, and say "Nate, look at how good they are...I can't love you like I love them. You aren't as awesome!"

No, that is not the heart of our Father.  His heart swells with love and longs to wrap me up, hold me close and whisper words of love and tenderness into my spirit - because it is only there, in His arms that I can begin to understand who He is, and who I am because of His love.

Thank you God, for freeing me from religion, from works of my own hands.  For separating the curtain that kept me out of your presence.  Let me not wander in the wilderness of works and avoid the greatest treasure available - your spirit through your son.  Jesus, thank you for making me a son. For righting my wrongs and allowing me to be adopted into the family of God.  For making the impossible possible.  For loving me when I was most unloveable, valuing me when there was nothing worthy of value. For freeing me to worship and love the rest of my days.  May it start with you and flow from there!

The 360 degree leader by John Maxwell

Ever wondered what it takes to make a great leader?  Ever felt trapped by your position (or complete lack thereof) within your company?  John Maxwell's book on how to lead effectively from wherever God has placed you within your company is the perfect tool to equip you to become a better leader.  Within this quick and fascinating work, John helps the reader understand that your position isn't what stops you from leading, it is your mindset.  That a great leader, is the man/woman who embraces the job he/she has today, and works hard to better those around them, and the company as well.

I thought this book was very helpful for me, a young leader, who feels surrounded by older and wiser leaders.  It helped me feel equipped to speak out in meetings, embrace ideas, and run in the areas where I may be gifted differently than those around me.  The tools that John Maxwell gives throughout the book has helped me become a better leader, a better follower, and a more effective communicator.

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 

Our Last Great Hope!

Ronnie Floyd's work on the Great Commission Task Force has produced a great work of literature in this book "Our last Great Hope" and throughout this work, he intends to inspire and challenge the readers to rise to the calling that Jesus leaves us with...to GO and MAKE DISCIPLES!

I would say my favorite part of this book, was the fact that he spends time challenging and reminding pastors and leaders, and all who read his book - that it is important we start with our families.  Too often, in works like this, where the author is challenging us to go out and change the world for the cause of Christ, they focus so much on the going out - they neglect to inspire us to change and train our children and focus on our families.  Ronnie balances this well by devoting time and pages to the importance of our families and our need to train our children and EXPECT them to walk with Jesus because of the outpouring of the Spirit in our lives, onto them!

I would recommend that any leader within the Church, and most definitely the pastor/leader of a local church should read and take to heart the need for us to motivate our people to be missional.

 I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Christian Encounters: George Washington Carver!

Prior to reading this fine literary work - all I would have been able to articulate about the life of George Washington Carver was that he was able to find a lot of uses for peanuts.  As I read through this work though, that barely scratches the surface of who this man was.  He was a man who learned early on to overcome adversity and his hunger for knowledge carried him to great heights and continuously aided his effort to conquer the racial barrier that was so prevalent in the late 1800's.  

When I ordered this book from www.booksneeze.com, I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy it - and rolled the dice on this one.  I must say, though, that I really did enjoy reading about the life of George Washington Carver.  I was challenged by his hunger to learn; and inspired by his continual effort to show love and acceptance.  I would like to say in the face of similar challenges as GWC I would rise to similar heights, but as you read this work, you begin to understand that it is not simply him at work, but the spiritual realm working in and through this humble, teachable, and inspiring man.

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Gonna try and get better at this...

I know it has been awhile since I have taken the time to share thoughts and write - which is kinda sad for me, because I really love to write and enjoy blogging, so I am gonna try and do a better job (at least for a little while)

This morning, I woke up kinda early, and I actually felt refreshed and renewed from sleep (not waking up feeling tired is AWESOME).  I made some coffee, let the dog outside, and decided that instead of going for a run, or heading off to the gym - I was gonna dive into the Word and just spend some time with Jesus.  And man, was it EPIC this morning.  I love when I get an opportunity to be obedient and His faithfulness blows my mind...

This morning, as I was reading in the book of Luke, God showed me many different things, and caused me to wonder about a few things that I would like to share.  I have been slowly making my way through this wonderful Gospel, and today I am in Luke 22.

In vs. 2 we see that the chief priests and scribes (think church staff people and pastors) are looking for a way to put Jesus to death.  I know in my own study, a lot of times I think of these guys and immediately begin to judge their hatred of Jesus and desire to put him to death.  I think of these evil, sneaky, black cloak-wearing, "Boris from Bullwinkle" type bad guys.  But - as I pondered their hearts this morning, 2 things occurred to me: 1) these are pastors who think they are protecting there people from a heretic. 2) They have become consumed with their kingdom and not God's.

Allow me to ellaborate a bit... First of all, these are not evil guys who set out to do bad things.  These are men who loved God, and wanted to be obedient to His Law.  They wanted to keep people safe and make sure that they didn't fall prey to false teaching.  Their desire to kill Jesus, while terrible and heart breaking, I don't think means that these guys are EXTRA evil.  I think that I have been wrong in my judgment and harsh thoughts towards these guys.

But, they don't get excused from all wrong doing, in vs. 2 it says that they want to put him to death, because they "feared the people". But, at this point, every one is in love with Jesus - the tide has not yet turned, and their "fear" is of losing the peoples respect and affection.  They don't want to lose their position and power in society.  As a result - they fear losing their kingdom for God's.

Needless to say, this was convicting and something I had never seen in this passage before - it really hit home with me, that more often than not, I find myself fearing that God's plan, and Kingdom is going to invade my own - and just like these chief priests and scribes, I decide (subconsciously) that I am going to look for ways to put God's will and way to death, so that my kingdom can reign.

As if that wasn't enough to chew on, in this same chapter - a few other things happen...

1) While in the garden, Jesus asks his disciples to pray - not for him and the journey he is about to go on, but for themselves and the temptation they are about to face.  That Jesus, while in his most desperate and trying hours on earth - would care for the lives and spirits of his friends, was/is inspirational to say the least.  It goes to show you that Jesus' concern while on earth, truly was not for himself, but for those around him.  Something we could all stand to practice a little more.

2) A question arose for me out of Judas' betrayal.  Why did Judas need to betray Jesus?  I know it fulfilled prophecy and everything, but have you ever stopped to think about why it happened?  Was Jesus wearing an Abraham Lincoln mask?  Was he sporting a fake 'stache and black rimmed glasses?  Was he like Superman, and when he wasn't wearing the "jesus-frock" people didn't know who he was?  I doubt it... Jesus spent time with lots of people, and in vs. 53 he acknowledges that he has spent time with those who come to capture him.  I really doubt that Judas NEEDED to identify Jesus in the crowd.  I think people knew who Jesus was.  I wonder, was this a part of Jesus' suffering and identifying with humanity?  Did he suffer, not just physically and emotionally from those who hated his message - but also, suffer betrayal from a close friend - just because he knew that you and I would suffer betrayal from friends and loved ones?  Did his love and desire to identify with His Creation in every way, extend to being betrayed by a brother - for no other reason that he loves His people and wanted to know us that intimately?

Maybe, maybe not - there may be a deeper theological reasoning that I don't know why Judas had to betray Jesus.  Maybe historically there is something that I don't get.  But, I know that I am comforted in knowing that Jesus suffered everything I would suffer, and whether its the primary purpose or not, he even endured betrayal from a brother and a close friend - and can identify when I am hurt by loved ones and friends.

Thank you Jesus, you really went to great lengths for me!

Been awhile...

I don't know exactly how long it has been since I have done this, but I feel like today - I should put into words all that God is stirring in my heart.

I have been studying the Gospel of Luke and the major prophet work of Daniel - and this morning God really challenged me in both accounts.

First of all, in Luke - we see that Jesus is hands on with people, and not the type of people I would spend time with.  He takes the time to hang out with tax collectors, prostitutes and "sinners".  As I was reading this, I thought about those whom I spend time investing into.  Why is it not the guy who stands on the corner asking for a dollar?  Is there a better candidate out there for understanding the love and acceptance of the grace of God - than someone who has already hit rock bottom and is looking for help?  No - I spend time with "churchy" types like me, who think like I do, and are in similar situations as I am in - because then I feel comfortable.  But is life about me being comfy? I sure hope not...

Secondly, in Daniel - I was reading about Nebuchadnezzar and God's pursuit of him - and was blown away at my own narrow-mindedness.  Here is a pagan king, ruling over God's people, building idols and graven images to himself, thinking of himself as equal to God, and concerned only about his glory - and what does God do?  Send Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah to minister to him and relay the glory and power of God to this pagan king.  

This morning - God really hit me with 2 truths - one, no one is ever to "far gone" for the gospel of grace.  The truth of the gospel of grace is that I am NOT good enough, so God wrapped himself in flesh, walked as we do, suffered temptation, torture, scorn, and crucifixion - so that I could be a part of God's family.  This causes me to step back and rethink how I look at people.  How I judge people.  How I determine who I am going to spend time with and who matters to God.

Secondly - is the length to which God will go to for a person, and to make his name and glory known!  Read Daniel 3-4 and examine it from the perspective of what God does for him.  Not how he saves his people and revelation to Daniel of his dream - but the length to which God goes to for the heart of Nebuchadnezzar.  It is pretty awesome!  And at the end of chapter 4 - the King of Babylon writes "Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven for all his work are right and his ways are just and those who walk in pride he is able to humble."

God is able to capture hearts, and willing to save those who need him most - I just need to get my opinions and junk out of the way so that God can do what He wants to do!

Fun times...

It has been awhile since I have blogged, and for that I feel kinda bad.  It's not that I didn't want to, but finding the time to share all thad God has been walking us through can be kinda difficult.  So here is my attempt to briefly describe where I have been at with God...

It has been a rollercoaster ride lately.  One of those coasters that seem to shoot straight up to the clouds, and then you make a 180 degree turn and plummet down to the ground only to shoot straight back up again.

Last week, we took a trip to N'Awlins, LA - which was awesome.  We got to see a good friend of ours, visit our old stomping grounds and the school I used to go to, and eat a lot of amazing food while listening to some of the best music ever.  It was great - but leading up to and then on the tail end of the trip, we have been under some of the fiercest spiritual battle I have ever faced.

1 - Due to a mistake on a ticket I received for not having current registration, I was suppose to have an "arraingment hearing" on the 27th of April for a FATALITY mistakenly marked on the ticket.
2 - That never really happens so there is no precedent, which means finding the right person to talk to is almost impossible.
3 - The hotel we were suppose to stay in which NEVER fills up, due to our procrastination because of the ticket problem, FILLED UP!
4 - Our friend fell and hurt her ankle and heel really bad, right before we spent a week walking all over the city
5 - On Tuesday of our vacation my son fell down some stairs, landed on his head and had a lump the size of a golfball most the week
6 - When we got home, our AC had broke so our house was 92 degrees!
7 - Stayed with my parents for 2 nights and 3 days (blessing), unable to sleep well because of staying on air mattress
8 - Some spiritual attack occurred on Sunday (as it always does) but that will remain vague...
9 - Quote from AC company number 1 - 2400 dollars (here's where you put the heart attack at)
10 - Decide to wait - and I drive all the way to Tampa yelling and wrestling with God and my flesh about the money!
11 - God puts me in my place, fills me with His Spirit and makes me okay with spending that much money to fix an AC unit on a house we have a contract on and aren't going to be living in much longer.
12 - What happens? I get a call from another company, that promises to save me a lot of money and that I am being ripped off by company number one.
13 - One more night in mom and dads house.
14 - AC guys from Accu-Temp come out and FIX our unit for $350!
15 - Last night, we were able to sleep in our own bed, in our own house, and woke up late this morning!

So, I know towards the end it got less into the attack and more into the provision from God - but it has really been a cool last couple of days!  The battle can be so fierce that I at times, was just a wreck.  Monday, I was driving to help out with a ministry called Amazing Love in Ybor.  They feed the homeless, and have a worship service for them.  I want you to catch this perspective for a second...I am driving, in my air conditioned car, to feed people who sleep on the streets and are not sure where their next meal, shower, or bed is going to be - and I am fighting with God about how "bad" my situation is! And how unfair he is being!

Yeah, here is where conviction goes.

In the car, I actually told God that I was going to praise Him in my circumstances, but my heart was praising to make God feel like a jerk for being mean to me!  I don't know if I can communicate this accurately, but I felt like if I told God how awesome He was, while He was being a jerk to me, He would realize how big of a jerk He was being. (I realize my theology was terrible, but it was what I was feeling)

Then, a funny thing started to happen - as I praised, God softened my heart, and the praise become real, instead of manipulative and guilt.  He opened my eyes to all the ways He had provided for us, and showed me that He had blessed us with the money to pay for the repairs, given us a cool place to sleep every night, and that if He chose to use His money to fix our AC, so be it - why should I complain and argue with Him.

So, I repented and that night - after God made me willing and joyful about paying $2400 to fix our AC, I got a call telling me that it could be fixed for $350!

And so, here I sit - excited about the future, full of love for my Daddy, and hopefully a little wiser and more trusting of Him.